MBW Family Traditions

It takes a special dad to become loved and respected by his wife's adult kids, his wife's minor kids, and his 2 kids by different moms. A pat on the back to my husband.

Most of our kids and our eldest grandchild on the honor roll. All of them good kids, independent and creative. My 15yo stepson Aaron's robotics group won FIRST prize in Southwestern Regional. He was then selected out of 20 students to be 1 of 7 students going to FL's robotics' competition. 04/07/2001 His team won First Place in Nationals!!! My 26yo son survived the layoffs, was promoted to manager and got a raise.

"We all need four or five people in
our lives whose faces light up
when we walk into the room."

-- Jess Lair

Summer 2000 Mark had to be in New Orleans on business the week Aaron graduated from Junior High School and 11 kids spent the night, pizza, videos, waffles the next morning, hot dogs, a movie...and now our wild wind summer begins. My stepgranddaughter arrived for a week's visit, my stepdaughter arrived for six weeks. We had a girls day out with manicures/pedicures and went to a new local restaurant that offers dress-up tea parties. 14yo Aaron's interning at Viva.com, Angela's taking driver's ed. Aaron is at his mom's 7/22 - 8/26. 8/2 - 8/4 my son John's family is in our home. My girls are at their dad's 8/5 - 9/1 - a kid free time for Mark and I. Hmmm, where can we go?

One day during my stepgranddaughter's visit I had a surprise for them. I had discovered a mystery bookshop. She told me her friend, the tea party restaurant owner, were thinking of mystery dinners starting as a tea party, and ending at the bookshop. Her bookshop had such a wonderful ambience, I got inspired.

I created a treasure hunt for the kids. They didn't know the treasure was a book for each of them already purchased and hidden in the bookshop, with a note from me written inside each book. They woke up to the written announcement, "A treasure hunt - after 10am safari up to the edge of the wilderness park." There on the fence they discovered a piece of paper with an outline of a key. Mmmmm...took them awhile to figure that one out.

Matched it to the mailbox key. Inside a small pic of binoculars for each of them and a bottle of nail polish. Mmmmm...took them awhile again. I put on my red devil hat - I was the "Huntmaster". A trip to the manicurist! Who had an envelope with a teabag and a picture clue for each kid. Mmmm...didn't take as long. Off to the tea restaurant. Who had our family's movie backpack with the kids' costume wig. *chuckle* Katie was getting the hang of this. Off to my hairdresser. Who had an envelope with picture clues for each kid, and 1 tortilla. Off to the Mexican restaurant, where I covertly asked a stranger to tell them, "The mystery is nearby." Aaron didn't understand why I kept repeating he knew the answer. Finally he remembered the mystery bookstore he'd visited with me.

The kids used the 5 pics they each had that were clues to the book waiting for each of them thruout the store. They were all reading excitedly as we drove home.

During the celebration of the 8th anniversary of our blind date 6/5/92, and the 4th anniversary of our marriage 6/5/96, the kids wrote sentiments that I think are a testimony for Mark on Father's Day,

My 15yo daughter, "I love you guys so much. You guys are so great to us and give us so much. I'm thankful for everything you have given me. I may not show it all the time but I am thankful. I'm thankful for the love and everything you give me. I'm glad you push me with my grades. I know in the long run it will be helpful. I love you so much."

My 12yo daughter, "Thank you guys so much for being who you are. You guys are supportive. I really appreciate it. Mark Because you work till 10 and get up at 5 to get the clothes on our back and the food in our stomachs. Mom For being supportive of all the stuff we do and pushing us to our limit. For helping us mentally and physically."

My 14yo stepson, "It's been a great 8 years together and the whole MBW family [the name of our family cuz we have 3 different last names] has enjoyed it. Even though I can remember only parts of it, and even those parts had been glimpsed during my too brief visits. Yet those glimpses were all it took for one to deduce that this was a marriage meant to last forever. All there is left to say is 'keep up the good work!' Love (mushy mushy!) Aaron." After 8 years of severe visitation denial from age 5 - 13, Mark won custody of his son summer '99.

My 8yo stepdaughter couldn't be with us for our anniversary. She's always vocal of her love for her mom and both of us, as we are all for her..

Mark and I met on a blind date 6/5/92, and have been together ever since. We were married 6/5/96, and our happily blended family became more secure when Mark won custody of his 14yo son 9/15/99 after 9 years of severe visitation denial. We'll be celebrating cuz

My girls often want to sit in my lap, and I'm not usually willing. This Mother's Day I'm the one who wants cuddle time. I guess I'm realizing they're growing up too fast. What are you doing for Mother's Day?

April Fool's Day our family's tradition is whoever is over that night wears one of my crazy hat collection, and we all go out to a favorite restaurant - Daring to be Fools for a Day.

We'll be celebrating Marygrace's Valentine's Birthday, and I have a surprise for Mark. Hope you enjoy our Valentine to you in the form of the background wav.

9am Valentine's Day Mark got his surprise - a barbershop quartet handing him a rose, taking pictures, and serenading him...

Members of the South Bay Coastliners deliver the singing Valentines to any area location from 2/12 - Valentine's Day for $30 - $50. This is an annual fund-raising event for the Coastliners, and proceeds go to local and national charities. The quartets are not paid other than the enjoyment of delivering the valentines. For a reservation, call Rick Llewlyn at 310-325-7151.

This year visitation schedules were a little mixed up. We had Aaron packed up for his mom to pick him up according to the court order at 6pm Xmas night - she called him at 4:30pm to talk. She says she told us in June that she wouldn't pick him up till the day after Xmas. Katie's mom's vacation was the 1st week of Xmas, and she assumed we'd have Katie the 2nd week of Xmas. We assumed we weren't getting Katie. Suddenly she's scrambling to get a babysitter for the 2nd week, and we only have Katie for the Xmas afternoon til the next afternoon. The girls' dad has moved from England to the states, an hour away. We asked him to pick up the girls 2 days after Xmas thinking my son John's family was going to be here for the day after Xmas only. We waited. They didn't show up. We get an email from Vegas. They thought we understood they wouldn't be here. So we call the girls' dad, "pick them up a little earlier" so Mark and I could leave for Vegas a day earlier to pick up the remaining junk in Vegas from our move to Redondo Beach over the summer. *shaking my head to clear it a little*

Our New Year's tradition is to "choose" when New Year's is for us (perhaps 9pm 1/8/2000 this year) We'll have candles throughout the downstairs as we pull out the sealed lists written last year of what we wanted for New Year '99. No one is obligated to share. Then we write the bad stuff from '99 that we didn't like and put it in a pile to be burned in the fireplace. We write what we want for the New Year 2000 and seal them in an envelope. After burning the '99 stuff we don't want, we have a wild dance party on large bubbled bubble wrap (sounds like firecrackers) - the Macarena, YMCA, the Electric Slide - until we're danced out. We are done by 9pm, our chosen time for New Years.

As our computer wizard son Aaron says, "I'm going to be with you guys for the real New Year's" 1/1/2001. We're going to whoop it up then.

Our New Year's tradition is to "choose" when New Year's is for us (perhaps 9pm 12/31/2000 this year) We'll have candles throughout the downstairs as we pull out the sealed lists written last year of what we wanted for New Year '00. No one is obligated to share. Then we write the bad stuff from '00 that we didn't like and put it in a pile to be burned in the fireplace. We write what we want for the New Year 2001 and seal them in an envelope. After burning the '00 stuff we don't want, we have a wild dance party on large bubbled bubble wrap (sounds like firecrackers) - the Macarena, YMCA, the Electric Slide - until we're danced out. We are done by 9pm, our chosen time for New Years.

As our computer wizard son Aaron said, "I'm going to be with you guys for the real New Year's" 1/1/2001. We're going to whoop it up then.

Why is Thanksgiving the busiest travel day of the year? Because being home for holiday satisfies a nameless longing we all have. To go back to our roots. Or at least to remember them with family.

Thanksgiving’s about remembering how we got here. But that's just the history lesson. It’s also about that longing we all have to be little once again, peering over the edge of the table, hungry beyond belief. It's an age-old witnessing of the plenty that Nature provides. And a personal remembrance of how, when we were young, the adults in our lives lovingly gave forth.

"Good. If you just used a fork, then you owe the cook a magic memory. I will now unveil The Talking Fork."

"I cooked this meal. And before we all leave, I want to hear some good, fun, magic family memories. Here's the Talking Fork. I'll go first." Then pick up a fork around which you've tied a ribbon (a nice, big serving fork is good for dramatic effect), and begin.

A fork with a history
This is a variation on the “Talking Stick,” a very ancient human speaking tradition. In Homer's Iliad, warrior kings pass the ribboned staff, giving one another room to speak. Native Americans still pass the Talking Stick from storyteller to storyteller.

In any event, use a fork. It's only a symbol, but a potent one. You can say, "This fork, although it appears ordinary, for this meal only imbues the user with STORYTELLER POWER. It gives the gift of the SILVER TONGUE. While you hold this fork, memories will flow through you. While you hold this fork, everyone will listen."

There's nothing better as a kid than having people whom you love, especially adults, listen to only you.

Digging in
Mom and dad, and grandparents if they're around, can model how it's done for the kids. Try stories about your childhood. The kids will love that. Or about how someone (great grandparents, for instance) had quirks, or funny sayings, or adventures, or even memories of coming to America like the Pilgrims did. Or you can tell stories about your own children. How they behaved as tempestuous toddlers and the origins of their pet names. Or maybe what happened the day they were born.

Once the kids realize that telling a story like this is simply remembering things and talking about them in their own words, they'll jump in.

Praise the forkholder
Oh, and one other thing. Applaud as each person finishes, no matter what they say. Short story, long story, impressive story, or simply a wisp of recollection -- doesn't matter. Applaud anyway.

We're celebrating 4 MBW birthdays October 3, 1998 with a big Halloween party. Pinatas, haunted home, food, games...one of our favorite holidays. Our voice mail message this month.338K

This year Mardi Gras fell near the weekend of Marygrace's Valentine's birthday, and a weekend when all the MBW kids were at their Las Vegas home. The Las Vegas casino Rio's Masquerade Village celebrates Mardi Gras nearly every day with floats flying thru the sky of their casino. Four themed parades are performed thruout the day (Mardi Gras in New Orleans, Carnivale in Venice, Carnivale in Rio, Village Street Party, and Disco Swing Party). The show is free for the audience. For about $10 apiece you can join the Masquerade Village Carnivale Parade. You are dressed up in the provided costumes unique to each parade and ride on the floats to celebrate.

We have a Super Bowl Family party. You know those grids where everyone at work pick squares and bet money? We have a grid, pick squares and win prizes like movie tickets, gets to choose where to have dinner...